Topman and the Afterguard

(The Soldier and the Sailor)

The soldier and the sailor went a-walking one day
Said the sailor to the soldier, "I've a good mind to pray
For the rights of all people and the wrongs of all men,
May the Devil double double triple damn them!"
Said the soldier, "A-men."

"Now here's to those lawyers, they'll plead for your cause,
They'll take your hard earnings and give you hard laws.
They'll send you to jail at last, and there to remain.
May the Devil double-double-triple-damn them!"
Said the soldier, "A-men."

"Here's to the ministers, they'll preach and they'll pray,
They'll take your hard earnings and fool it away.
They'll send you to hell at last, and there to remain.
May the Devil double-double-triple-damn them!"
Said the soldier, "A-men."

"Now here's to the farmer that follows his plough
And gets his hard earnings by the sweat of his brow.
Here's a health to the sailor and the soldier the same.
May the good God Almighty help them!"
Said the soldier, "A-men."

From Songs of the Sailor and Lumberman by William Main Doerflinger (1951, '72, '91)

A Topman and an Afterguard were walking one day,
Says the Topman to the Afterguard, “I mean for to pray
For the rights of all sailors and the wrongs of all men.
And whatever I do pray for
You must answer ‘Amen’.

“I pray for the bosun with his little stick,
He bawls out ‘all hands’ and gives us a lick.
Strikes many a brave fellow and kicks him a’main,
May the Devil double triple damn him.”
Says the Afterguard, “Amen.”

“I’ll pray for the Purser who gives us to eat
Spewburgle, rank butter and musty horse meat,
And weavily old biscuit while he gets the game.
May the Devil double triple damn him.”
Says the Afterguard, “Amen.”

“I’ll pray for the officers who hold back our due,
We’re owed three years wages and prize money too.
‘You can’t have it yet Jack try next voyage again’
May the Devil double triple damn ‘em.”
Says the Afterguard, “Amen.”

“The next thing I’ll pray for is a pot of good beer,
The Lord send good liquor to fill us with cheer.
And while we have one pot may we also have ten
And never want for grog boys…”
Says the Afterguard, “Amen.”

As sung by Walter Pardon ca. 1987